The next time your kids have a sinful outburst, resist the urge to yell, shame them, guilt trip them, belittle them, or overreact with your punishment. Instead have a conversation that helps them accurately see themselves as in desperate need of God’s help.

ASK THESE FIVE QUESTIONS from the book:
Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family

1. What was going on?
Here you are getting your child to summarize what happened in the situation you are about to discuss.

2. What were you thinking and feeling as it was happening?
This helps your child to think about how their heart was interacting with whatever was going on.

3. What did you do in response?
With this question, you help your child see that their behavior was not shaped by the situation but by how their heart interacted with it.

4. Why did you do it—what were you trying to accomplish?
Here you are helping the child examine their motives. They did what they did because they were after something.

5. What was the result?
This question enables your child to see the connection between their desires, behavior, and the consequences they are now dealing with.

The purpose of these questions, when presented gently, is not to indict a child for some wrong but to help them see things about themselves that they wouldn’t otherwise see. A good follow up to these questions is reminding them how the gospel applies to their situation (mercy, forgiveness, grace, etc.)